[A Dizzy bacon Classic from last year]

The ancient Greeks believed that there were four elements: Earth, Water, Air, Fire.

Now we have a table full of them.

Lately I’ve been experimenting with:

Barium – chemical symbol, Ba
Cobalt – chemical symbol, Co
Nitrogen – chemical symbol, N

After months of investigating and testing, I’ve come up with a wonderful compound:

BaCoN

Very yummy, especially with pancakes and eggs!

Well, I thought it was funny on Denis’s t-shirt.

[A Dizzy Classic from 5/21/2009]

Meeerrrrppp! Ugh.

Oh excuse me! I'm so sorry - I'm not feeling all that well. I was charged with the task of mowing the lawn today with our fancy new "green" lawn mower. You know, one of those non-powered just mechanical push ones with the blades that spin around.

It might be the latest trend to get one of these, but let me tell you this thing wasn't working at all! It might have had something to do with the fact that the lawn was terribly overgrown because I was really supposed to mow it about a week and a half ago... but honestly that should be considered in the design of these mowers.

Anyway, I had the bright idea that maybe I could just eat the grass! It's no Clover Pita, but I was hungry and figured a little lawn mowing "grazing" style is a win-win situation.

Turns out the lawn was bigger than my stomach. And the grass really doesn't taste as good as you'd hope. And now I have a tummy ache and wish I had instead convinced everyone that a tall "natural look" grass garden is the latest thing and way trendier than the mower.

This is your nameless, never seen narrator.

It seems that it is such a nice day that every one went to Hidden Lodge.

Don't ask me where it is, because it's, well... hidden!

But I will leave you with this Classic Dizzy Joke:

Q: How many sheep does it take to knit a sweater?

A: Six! Four to hold Dizzy down and one to sheer him!

I bet you thought I was going to say "None... sheep can't knit."

But that just wouldn't be right!

[Pssst! Nameless, never seen narrator - this is Anonymous.  I think you meant "shear" not "sheer".]

[A Dizzy Classic from July 2009]

I have decided.

My kitchen shall be Color 07! Just kidding - it shall be Raspberry Blush! A nice medium red with the slightest hint of orange. It's a bold color that apparently also stimulates the appetite with its rich warmth. This color says "You better be hungry, because serious cooking happens in here!"

Ahh, it's such a relief to be done with that decision. Now I just need to get on that whole prep the room part. As they say, painting is 90% prep! Ok, I don't know who says that, but someone must.

Thank you everyone for your input and advice. So now the only question is... who enjoys painting?

[A Fred Classic from 9/21/2010 - always blame it on the dog!]

Yeah so I had some great things to talk about today, but... the dog ate my story homework.

I know you think it's a joke or some lame excuse, but I'm serious! He pretty much eats, sleeps, and "Yeaaarfff's" at people all day long.

Since the refrigerator is looking a little empty, I think he decided my stack of papers would have to do for a snack. Who knows why, it doesn't really make any sense. I can't imagine paper tastes all that good.

You know, I seem to recall Dizzy eating papers on more than one occasion...

You don't believe me?

Why would your buddy Fred make something like this up?

I'm telling you, that puppy is trouble!

But Mother Nature is sure fooling with me!

Yes, indeed!  The temperature forecast is below freezing.

Baby it’s cold outside!

How cold, Fred?

Colder than a gargoyle’s bottom!

And take it from me – that’s cold!

OK, Fred.

What?  You sit on the top of the Notre Dame Cathedral all night and see how cold your bottom gets!

Did you know a lot of medicines come from the rainforests?

For example the Cinchona tree is found in the Latin American and African rainforest.  Quinine is extracted from the bark and is used to cure malaria.  It can also be used as a tonic to stimulate the appetite, treat headaches, leg cramps and colds.

So, got a cold... the sniffles.. feeling run down, but don't have a rainforest in your backyard?

Well, here is Dr. Dizzy’s standard advice.

Chicken soup – moms have been prescribing it for years and moms know best!

Blackberry brandy – now before you start laughing, which will start a coughing fit, I have it on good authority that there are medicinal benefits – a bartender told me and he should know! 

Besides, even if it doesn’t do anything for the cold - after a few doses you won’t care!

(Not recommended for minors, if you are driving or operating heavy machinery, pregnant, have a medical condition, or are knitting intarsia in the round! My lawyers, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe, require me to add these disclaimers.)

Of course I’m not a real doctor. I don’t even play one on TV!

But I am a dizzy sheep that has a Daily Dizzy Deal™ on yarn!

Fred, I have a riddle for you:

This thing all things devours:
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stones to meal;
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountain down.

Dizzy, that's easy.  

You just watched The Hobbit and that's one of riddles between Bilbo and Gollum.  

The answer is time!

Wrong Fred!

The correct answer is a knitter frustrated by days of trying to understand why the pattern isn't working out right only to find out the pattern was wrong!